At first I told myself, "Pull the blanket over your head and sleep, it's not worth it," but it didn't work. I forgot about both silent and divert. Then, when I went back to the factory settings, I saw that I had no way out. Just like a prisoner who draws a line on the wall to count the days, I have to draw a line on this wall so that I don't forget.

Heraclitus, one of the first Greek philosophers who is known for speaking incomprehensible words, said somewhere about two thousand five hundred years ago, "We both step in the same river and we don't step in it, we both are and we are not." What he says and what others hear and interpret is for his people, Heraclitus would not have hesitated if he could have said it differently. He said the world as he saw it, and I would like to hear it as he said it, even if I don't understand it and don't face this experience for the rest of my life. But among those who speak incomprehensibly, the world is different. A lively old man who doesn't even have a signature, because he's illiterate and hasn't read the bottom of the pages his whole life, he's just put his finger and stamp on the bottom of the pages. A genuine Tehrani with the subcultures of the lower Tehran and an encyclopedia full of grammatical errors. Once, when Mahin Khanum was praying on the prayer rug, her grandchildren started talking and playing and jumping around her. After reciting the tashahhud and the greeting at the end of the prayer, Mahin Khanum immediately started chasing her by throwing seals, rosaries, slippers, and anything else she could reach at her grandchildren, shouting: "Sultan, catch me, God, let so-and-so die in two minutes. Well, doesn't the ground have nails? For example, I came to pray two rak'ahs of prayer on my back. I didn't understand what I understood.

Before, every time I remembered Mahin Khanum's chasing her prayers and her last sentence, it would end in laughter, but today it's different. On the first day of my forty-something years, I review and cast my abacus for myself. It passed in the blink of an eye, but I didn't lose anything. I didn't achieve my goal, but I tried my best to "walk the path of the Bedouin to avoid sitting still." Although I understood things, I still "didn't understand what I understood," and that's not funny at all.